Cards To Play
by cbssoapsgirl
Summary: Ten months have gone by and there's finally a reason to be in the same room. Ready to face the changes that the ten months have caused?
1. State Dinner

Olivia looked in the mirror applying her lipstick. Her hair was half up and half down, straightened with a pulled back bump in the front. Her makeup looked flawless as usual. The cream floor length dress she wore perfectly complimented her skin tone. The shoes were comfortable and not too high. She put on her lipstick and left him behind her, drawing circles in her back like he normally did.

"Edison, don't ruin anything, it looks perfect," she laughed.

"I'm sorry you have to take my place at the State Dinner tonight; I'd go if I could but I have to get to Georgia. Are you sure you don't want to take Harrison or Huck? I don't want you to be too lonely without me," Edison asked kissing her cheek.

She shook her head no putting the lipstick in her purse. "Those two would be so bored. I'll be fine alone tonight. You go take care of business and I'll be home when you get back. Besides, Cyrus will be there, I can chat with him if I need to."

"I still wish I didn't have to go tonight."

"But you do and it'll be fine. The limo is going to take you to the airport and I'll drive myself to the dinner. Let's go. The sooner you leave, the sooner you come back."

Cyrus ran through the checklist one last time before he went with Fitz and Mellie to the dinner. The guest list was right, the setting was great, and Fitz was in a good mood. He sat on the couch in the Residence waiting for the President and First Lady to come out.

"Mellie, perfect! You look great!" Cyrus told her. She looked wonderful in the long red dress with matching heels. "Where's Fitz?"

"He's on his way, he'll just be a minute," she replied. "How does everything look down there?"

"The place looks great. People have started to line up to come in at security and all that. Everything is being handled."

Fitz put on his red bow tie, matching Mellie's dress. Ten months had gone by since he spoke or even saw Olivia but no matter what was happening, every day his mind drifted to her. Was she still waiting for him? Did she even care that he wasn't speaking to her? Many times things during the day would happen and he would pick up the phone to call her but never dialed the number. He imagined what tonight would be. Would she be there? Why would she be there? Olivia wasn't part of his administration anymore and had no reason to be at the State Dinner. The argument they had at Verna's funeral stung him every day. She was finally willing to wait for him and he told her not to. And worse yet, called her the one thing she never was to him: mistress. For the couple weeks after the funeral, he drowned himself in the scotch. After the christening, he went back to it. He treated her like a whore, used her like a slut, belittled what they were to each other and went on with the day.

He shook his head out of the misery that was his life to get back into reality. Fitz tied his laces and went out to the living room joining Mellie and Cyrus.

"Ready?" All three of them went to the dinner hall.

Greeting everyone individually was a tedious task but something both Fitz and Mellie had to do. They shook hands with Prime Ministers, Congressmen, Secretaries, and Defense leaders, anyone who was invited. It had been a good half hour later when it started to die down from the incoming guests. One of the lasts to arrive was Olivia.

She handed the attendant her coat, revealing her dress and catching Fitz's face. Luckily for her, he hadn't noticed her yet.

_"It doesn't matter anymore, you've moved on,"_ she told herself.

She thought she might be able to avoid the Fitz and Mellie but knew she had to represent Edison. That was the reason she came to the event. The whole reason for getting dressed in this outfit and going out to the White House. Slowly, she moved down the steps, willing herself not to trip, run, yell, cry, but to remain calm and even. All she had to do was shake their hands and thank them for the invite for Edison. How hard can that be?

Olivia walked across the carpet ready for the intake. Mellie looked down to see who was coming and smiled brightly at her as Fitz greeted the guest she just did.

"Olivia, it's great to see you!" Mellie told her as she moved in to hug her. "You look wonderful."

Sweetly, she walked closer to her hugging her back. "Thank you, you look terrific, Madam First Lady." Liv tried to keep it simple while talking to her. Remember her place and the things she knew.

"Liv, formal? I've been meaning to call you for a lunch; we should catch up next week."

"Have your secretary call me and we can work something out. How are you anyway?"

Fitz sent the Congressmen he just greeted on to the tables and turned to Mellie. Unexpectedly, he caught Olivia's face with his eyes.

_"Gorgeous as always. My Livie." _He thought to himself.

"Busy, just so busy," Mellie told her. "I see that you've been good. All your work is great Liv."

"Thank you. Have a good time tonight," Olivia said smiling at her. "Mr. President."

Fitz smiled at her, his eyes soft and gentle. He loved that she was there, no matter how much hurt it was before, the sight of her healed everything. "Olivia. How are you?" He stuck out his hand for her to shake catching her left hand in his. He could feel it. A foreign object that was never on her hand. The ring.


	2. Ring

Olivia could feel the realization come to Fitz. He noticed the ring she wore; he could feel it. How could he not? It's a five karat princess cut sterling silver with a diamond band, it was very noticeable.

"I'm good, Mr. President," Olivia replied trying to take her hand back. Fitz held her hand tight almost to the point of breaking it. "How are you?" She used her other hand to cup his hand on hers and attempted to pry his fingers loose.

"Tonight will be great. I'd like to talk with you later on official business. Enjoy yourself tonight."

Olivia continued on to the party finding her seat. Since the invitation was for Edison and a guest, she looked for his name. After a few moments she found it. The seating arrangement had them sitting far away from Fitz toward the back with other Congressmen. Most of who she sat with was people she knew, a couple she had even fixed situations for.

The waiters came out serving the Black Mole the chef had prepared. A mixture of lamb, chicken, and tuna with vegetables and bread. When she finished eating and dancing had started, Liv decided to make her way to the bar for a glass of wine.

"Red wine please?" she asked the bartender.

"I'd know that voice anywhere," Cyrus said a few feet down from her. "What are you doing here?" He was happy to see her from what she could tell but was also a little concerned.

"Representing. Hello Cyrus," Liv told him, hugging him. "Don't worry, the President knows that I am here."

"But what are you doing here? Representing OPA? That's a good chance for publicity but the way I hear it, OPA is doing amazing business."

Olivia smiled and sipped her wine. "OPA is doing great. Always a problem to fix in this city." She held up her hand showing Cyrus her ring.

Cyrus caught her hand, staring at the ring, jaw dropped. "Did you wear that to piss him off?"

"Like I said, I'm here representing. I came for my husband. Edison had to leave to Georgia tonight and couldn't make it. You don't not show up for a State Dinner without good cause. So he asked me to come instead. I had to do it."

"What did Fitz say when he saw it?"

"Played it cool. Never said a word about the ring. He just tried to break my hand. What's this official business that he needs? Why can't you tell me?" Cyrus put his hand through his hair, unsure what to tell her yet. There was a reason that the administration needed her help but here was not the place to say it. "Is it another aid?" she whispered.

"God, I hope not. It's one of the bills he's trying to pass. It's not going over well. Actually, it's your husband holding up the issue."

"Then no, I will not help. I am not getting involved between those two. If Edison thinks it's not a good bill and doesn't want to support it, then I support him. The President can't swing support just because I'm Edison's wife."

Cyrus nodded, understanding her situation completely. He left to go find James leaving Olivia at the bar for a while.

"Ms. Pope," a male voice came from behind her.

She turned around to see Tom a few inches behind her. "Hi Tom."

"Will you follow me please?"

"Tom, let me ask you something. When have I ever made it easy on you to take me to him?"

"Never ma'am."

"And I'm not about to start now. I know you are only trying to do your job and I am too. Please inform the President that I will not be able to accompany him tonight. Tell him that he can call my office tomorrow morning and we will talk." She finished her wine and left the glass on the stand walking back to her table. On the way she caught the sight of Fitz dancing with Mellie. He looked happy, even though she knew it was his fake happy.

The song ended and everyone applauded the musicians. Tom went over to Fitz standing to the side whispering in his ear. He nodded and let Tom go back to work.

Fitz escorted Mellie back to their table going to get her a drink.

He handed it to her and excused himself to the other side of the room. On his way to her, he greeted everyone who spoke to him. Fitz took the empty seat next to Olivia as she drank another glass of wine.

"We need to talk," he told her.

"Cyrus already informed me of the crisis. You can leave me out of that one. It's a conflict of interest for me. If it was a good bill, Edison would have already added his support to it," Liv informed him.

"I need to speak with you, our spot in five minutes."

"You should check your hearing, Mr. President. I just told you we have nothing to discuss."

No one was sitting at the table, luckily for them. "Our spot now or I'll have Tom drag you out there," he said with a smile to not look suspicious.

"You can't leave a State Dinner. And I'm going home."

"You aren't leaving until we've discussed this further and I can and will leave this dinner. Our spot now." Fitz stood up before she could say another word.

Before he could walk away, Olivia grabbed his arm stopping him, standing off ready for battle. "If you want to speak with me, you call my office and make an appointment. I don't work for you."

"As President of the United States, I am in need of your services."

Olivia folded her arms taking a serious tone with him. "My business hours are from nine am to five pm. You can make an appointment with me then. Have a nice night, Mr. President."

Liv grabbed her handbag that was sitting on the table and started to walk away before he grabbed her arm. "I will drag you out of here myself if I have to."

"You are making a scene."

"I don't care."

She forcefully removed her arm from his grasp nearly falling to the floor. "You can make an appointment." Olivia went out the door to her car and went home.


	3. Truth

The banging on the door startled Olivia. It was nearly seven in the morning as she was watching the news and preparing for the day. Still in her pajamas, she went to answer the door. Whoever was at the door was very impatient. Liv opened the door to see Tom and Daniel on the other side.

"Tell him to make an appointment," she told them.

Olivia started to close the door but Tom put his hand on it to stop her. "You have to come with us," he told her.

"The only thing I HAVE to do is breathe."

"Ma'am, if you don't come with us, it gives me no other choice."

"You have a choice. Let me ask, who are you more afraid of? Him or me?"

"Frankly, both of you scare the shit out of me but you do more. But I work for him. Last chance, please follow us."

Olivia started to close the door again and Tom stopped it as before. "You tell him to make a damn appointment."

Tom kept the door open as Daniel went in. Before Olivia could blink, Daniel had her over his shoulder taking her out of the apartment to the car.

"PUT ME DOWN NOW!" she screamed.

"Ms. Pope, I'm very sorry about this. It's an order," Daniel explained.

Liv started to hit and kick to get away from him but his grasp was very tight on her. He put her in the back of the car and they drove off to the White House.

Tom parked the car around the back preparing himself for the injuries he was about to sustain. He opened the back door and Liv started to get out. She stepped out on the concrete then started to run towards the gate. Daniel was able to catch her tossing her over his shoulder again.

He carried her to the Oval where Fitz was.

"Delivery sir," Daniel joked. "A very angry delivery."

"PUT ME DOWN DANIEL!" she barked at him.

"Thank you boys," Fitz said to the agents. "I appreciate your help."

Daniel put Olivia to her feet and backed away fast leaving the room with Tom and closing the door.

"This is an abuse of power and you can be impeached for it," Olivia told him facing the door.

"I'll risk it," Fitz told her firmly.

"I'm sure you will. What do you want?"

"Like I told you last night, we need to talk."

Olivia turned around to face him. He sat against his desk closer to her watching her movements. He looked perfect, as usual. The black tie against the blue shirt he wore was a good match. His suit jacket lay across the back of his chair. His hair had the usual curl in it. Fitz looked like a day hadn't passed since they were last together, but really, ten months had passed by.

"And like I told you last night, make an appointment."

"I've never needed an appointment to see you before. Nor you with me."

"Things change. I've changed, you've changed. Everything is different now. So explain why I am here."

"I needed to speak with you."

"So I've heard. Cyrus said something about a bill that you were working on. I'm not getting involved with that. I'm sure he told you that last night as well."

"Olivia, I need you to fix something."

"Finally, to the point! Still you need an appointment. If you need me to fix a bill, need some kind of support make an appointment. If you need help because you screwed another aid, you can count me out."

Her words stung him, right to the core. The mistake he made with Amanda was one he wanted to change every day. Fitz knew that hurt her but it was never his intention; he was just lonely for her.

"I didn't screw another aid! I could never do that to you again. The only time was bad enough. Hurting you like that again… I couldn't do it. Cyrus is handling the bill and the support we need. He has people on that."

"Then what the hell do you need me to fix?"

"Us."

Olivia looked him straight in the eyes. "Us? You want me to fix us?" He nodded, waiting for her to continue. "Let me inform you about US. There is NO US. There is no us, no we, no you and me. There is a you and there is a me. We are not together. We are not in this together. You pushed me aside when you found out the truth without knowing the entire truth. So there is no us. There is you and Mellie and me and Edison."

"THAT IS WHO YOU MARRIED?"

"Who did you think I married?"

"I don't know but definitely not him!"

"Well, I did. If that is all I was called in to fix, I'll be leaving now."

She started towards the door. "Why him?" Fitz asked her.

"He asked."

"I asked."

"You're married."

"So are you."

"You were married when you asked me."

"And you knew that I was trying to get out of it. Why marry Edison? You told me at the funeral that you would wait for me. We were…"

"That's exactly it. We WERE. We never are. I was going to wait for you and you told me not to. You found out what you thought was the truth a pushed me aside. You didn't know the real truth about it. You killed her before she was able to say the real truth."

"How did you know?"

"I'm not stupid, Fitzgerald. I stood outside the hospital door and watched you do it."

"I never saw you; no one said you were there."

"That doesn't matter. I knew what you were doing. And I knew that Verna was going to tell David. I came to try to talk sense into her but you beat me to it. You killed her to protect Mellie. I understood that."

Fitz shook his head no at her. "You're wrong. I did it to protect you."

Olivia crossed her arms and sat on the couch. "I know, it just sounds better when I say you were doing it for Mellie. It's why I said I'd wait for you."

"But you didn't. You married him," Fitz countered. He slowly moved over and sat on the couch next to her. "You know me; I can forgive you for anything. Olivia, I can't stay mad at you for long."

"Really? Because ten months feels long."

"I've been busy." Olivia rolled her eyes knowing better. "Yeah, I didn't think you'd buy that either. I'm pissed, Liv. You should have come to me and told me what they were planning. We could have come up with a plan to stop them. My brilliant Livie has a plan for everything."

"Do you honestly think that I didn't try my hardest to get you elected? That I didn't try everything possible for you? If we weren't together, I could have focused every minute on what we could have done. But we were. Our situation changed things. You wanted to be President. Who was I to stop you and say no? I was hired to do a job and I would have failed if Hollis didn't come up with another route. Yes the route was immoral and unethical but I sold my soul to the devil to make you President. Do I regret it? The majority of the time, yes I do. But I can't take it back. And I wouldn't. You are President. You are doing a great job with it. This country is getting better because of you. I have to deny myself you and yeah, it does suck but that's part of the job. Having the cake and eating it too is something that never happens. I don't want to share you but I have to. Now, I'm used to sharing you."

Fitz took in her words knowing that she was right. He knew she tried everything to get him elected but in the end, it just wasn't enough. "I can't share you, Olivia. I can't hide you anymore. After seeing you last night, I realized that." He took her left hand staring at the ring on her finger. "It's nearly identical to the one I bought for you."

"You did what?"

"I bought you a ring."


	4. Ours

"What do you mean you bought me a ring?" she asked him. This was complete news to her. They talked about getting married but never discussed jewelry.

"A few years ago, I bought you a ring. I was going to divorce Mellie and resign as President before I was even in office. I realized that I wanted you more than I wanted the job. Honestly, I want you more than anything in the world. I had a designer specially make it for you. There is nothing like it. I can't stand the thought of you being married to Edison. He doesn't deserve you. Livie, he cheated on you multiple times with multiple women."

"We weren't actually together, but you cheated on me, so you say. It may have only been one time with one woman but you did. What's the difference?"

"I will live with that forever. Every time I think about it, I feel ill but I could never cheat on you again, Livie. You are the love of my life. I want you to divorce Edison. Today."

Olivia smirked. "Okay."

"Really?"

"No. It doesn't work like that. I leave Edison so what? We can go back to the way it was before? I don't want to be in the dark with you. With Edison, I can be beside him and go to events with him. I don't have to watch him kiss another woman or be happy with her, even if it is fake. I can go to bed with him every night and wake up every morning beside him. I like Edison."

"But you don't love him," Fitz stated as a fact.

"I do."

"Then say it. Say that you love Edison."

"I like Edison."

"Olivia, I can tell. You don't love him. You never really have. Edison was a choice because he was safe. You could be with him without feeling the judgment from others. You do not love Edison. You never have and you never will. Liv, you love me. And I love you. Nothing can beat that."

She realized that he was right. Fitz was her endgame. He always had been even before she met him. The day she met him, she knew that he was the one she was hoping to find all along. And he knew it too. The way they could read each other's mind like they were one person was the end.

"You are right. But if I leave Edison what am I supposed to do? Wait for you again? Wait for the end of the term and see what makes up your mind? I can't spend another five years in the dark with you. I won't do it. If I leave Edison, then you have to leave Mellie," Liv gave the ultimatum.

"Done."

"What?"

"It's already done. Mellie filed for divorce a few months ago. She came in here and we talked it out. She's come to realize that she can't compete with you anymore. It's why she invited you to lunch next week. She was going to tell you herself. You've won."

"Fitz, you aren't a prize to be awarded."

"No, I'm not. But this is what both you and I want. We wanted to be together, now we will be. All you have to do is leave Edison. After that, Vermont is ours. We deserve our dream, sweet baby. It's ours."


	5. Things Unsaid

"I…I just need some time to think. And it's getting later so I need to get home. Neither of us needs the press seeing me in my pajamas," Liv told him.

"I can give you time, Livie. But get used to the idea, you and I are going to be together. There is no other endgame for either of us. Tell Edison that you want a divorce and we can be together. It's simple now. Livie, I love you. I need to be with you."

Tom and Daniel drove Olivia home and made sure she was safely in her apartment before returning. As she got ready for work, she realized that it was actually possible for the two of them to be together now. The only thing that Olivia had to do was divorce Edison. She wanted to be with Fitz more than anything else. But when she couldn't have him, Liv settled for second best.

Throughout the day, her mind went back to Fitz. What would their life really be like if he was still President and she was the official First Lady? As her team went to work on their current case in the field, Liv stayed in her office fielding the calls. After she ate her lunch, Liv started to get a headache from over thinking everything. She lay down on the couch in her office closing her eyes for a bit.

"Are you ill?" the male voice came.

"If I was ill, I would have gone home," she replied.

"No you wouldn't, you would have worked right through it. Getting no rest and making you sicker."

"It doesn't matter, I'm Olivia Pope, I don't get sick. Why are you here Cyrus?"

Cyrus sat down in her chair at her desk, letting her continue to lie on the couch. "I need your help with your husband. He has to see reason for this. It's an education bill. College loans and all that, Edison won't sign it."

"I already told you Cyrus, that's his business. We don't mix the two."

"You did with Fitz. What's one more time?"

"Are you aware he bought me a ring?" She saw Cyrus nod yes at her. "You didn't stop him or say anything to me. You never wanted us together; I guess you got your wish."

"I want the two of you to be happy but not at the expense of his administration. He got to be President, Mellie got to be First Lady, Verna was Supreme Justice and I got to be Chief of Staff. You got the short end, I'm sorry. I don't know what you wanted."

"I got all this," she motioned around her. "I got the reputation of the best fixer and the worst person you'll ever have to deal with."

"They are getting a divorce," Cyrus added.

"I know, he told me this morning."

"You could have him. Olivia, you could be the First Lady. I believe that you would be great at it."

Olivia agreed. Being First Lady, she would make sure that things got done and things were being made for the better. "He wants me to divorce Edison. And I'm okay with that. Fitz and I could be together, finally. We could make the life we wanted before happen. It's just… why me?"

"We're going with that? Since when do you ask that?" Cyrus questioned. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tom and Daniel arrive with Fitz to the conference room. Everyone was out of the office. He shook his head no to them and held up two fingers. Fitz stood against the glass door to her office, hearing everything that was being said.

"Why is it me that he loves? I'm a shitty person and he loves me. At least, he thinks he loves me. Fitzgerald doesn't really know me. You know me Cyrus and you can barely tolerate me. You know the things that I've done and what I've done to get to where I am now. If Fitz were to find out the real me, he'd hate me. He'd probably think I was only using him. And I'm not. I would never use him. Fuck, I'm not Mellie. I have my own power, I don't need his. Shit, people fucking fear me. Don't get me wrong, I do like that. I can make any Congressman fall to his knees in half a second with the right word. I'm not proud of some of the things that I've done, but I can't take them back. Fitz doesn't know me, and if he was to ever find out about me, he'd have me on a plane to Siberia and put on the no fly list forever."

Cyrus knew most of what Olivia was referring too. The way she was in her college years was something he was there for. He knew all of the tricks she pulled then, even teaching her a few of them. "What part do you think will be the worst?"

"All of it, Cy. Everything is going to come out soon, whether I like it or not. It's a dirty secret and dirty secrets always come out."

"But exactly which part? You know everything about him, you've seen what he's capable of and you accept that. Why not give him a chance to do the same for you?"

She knew that Cyrus was right. She wasn't being fair to him. "With Edison, it's easy to hide. He doesn't know anything and he wouldn't go poking around looking for things. But with Fitz, he has the power and the means to find it. He can find anything he wants in a matter of hours. The past ten months have sucked without talking to him. But I was starting to accept that he wasn't going to come through for me, for us. I accepted it and was starting to move on. But then he got sense that I was moving on and we can't have that. We can't allow me to be, what I thought was, happy. I said I'd wait for him like I wanted and he calls me a damn mistress. It's exactly what I am though. And even if we were married, everyone would think of me as the mistress still. Either way, Fitz won't like me when he finds out what I've done to him, to us. I will have to accept that and whatever kind of punishment he deals out to me. Only if he ever finds out though."

At this point, Cyrus was lost. He and Fitz had no idea what she was referring to now.

"Olivia, you seem to be making the situation so much worse. What's the big secret no one knows? Tell me and I can help you."

"Cyrus, I can't. It's just too much."

"Liv, I can…" Cyrus said. He started to go on but there was a tap at the door.

"He's here," Olivia stated in a fact.

"Yes," Cyrus responded.

"How long?"

"Since the question of why I love you," Fitz answered coming into the room. "Cyrus, you're needed back at the White House for that conference."

Cyrus kissed Olivia's cheek and left, leaving them alone. He knew they had much to talk about and there was no way that Fitz was going to make it back to the Oval tonight.

"I'd like to answer that question," Fitz started. "I love Olivia Pope because she is the best person in the world. She's not only beautiful and intelligent; she's also my other half. My Livie knows exactly what I'm thinking and planning to do before I even do it. She works hard and gives it her all. Nothing can ever stop her. She's loyal and trusting. Livie can bring a person to their knees in a matter of seconds. She might have regrets but the one thing that she doesn't do is second guess herself. Why are you doing it now?"

Olivia sat up moving over so Fitz could join her. "It's been a day of thinking. I just… I don't know. I've thought about some of the things that I've done that I'm not very proud of but I can't change that."

"And I wouldn't want you to. Everything that you have done has made you to be you and it led you to me. I don't want you to change. I've cleared my schedule for this afternoon. How about you and I spend the rest of the day at your apartment and you can tell me everything you need to tell me?"

It sounded like a good plan to her. "Okay but I need you to know that there are some things that I will have to tell you and you are going to be angry with me about them. You're probably going to want to throw and break things possibly even kill me but I want to work through them. If you love me as much as you say that you do, then you will do this for me."

"Alright, I can resist."


	6. Known Secrets

Olivia called Edison and talked with him for a few minutes. He told her that he wouldn't be home for a few more days. She let him know that a friend was coming over for a while.

"Do you want anything to drink? Or we can order some food if you want?" Olivia asked not sure of herself.

"Should I drink if we are going to discuss all of this? Dinner would be great though. Gettysburger? I can send Tom."

They sent Tom down to Gettysburger and brought back their food.

"So tell me all the shitty things you've done, Livie," Fitz started.

"You know that my mom died when I was a teenager," she saw Fitz nod knowing this and went on. "Eli was never around so I kind of grew up without a dad. When I was in college, I was a party girl. Cyrus met me when I was a party girl. He tamed me and brought me back to reality. I only partied with the best, and I don't mean frats. Any party I went to was a Congressmen party. I was a date with one and ended up going out with another the next night. I hadn't had a steady relationship ever. When I met Cyrus, he talked me out of the party scene and then I went on with college. I met Edison and that was the first real relationship I had ever had. I found out a couple of things that I don't like but they aren't my actions. My mom is an enemy of the country. My dad is the head of an undercover organization for the country. My mom is the reason that you shot down the plane in the nineties."

Fitz's eyes got wide. "That was a secret mission, how do you know about it?"

"My dad ordered you to shoot it down. My mother, Maya, had put a bomb on the plane and told him. He ordered you to shoot it down. But I found out a few years ago that my mom isn't actually dead. Eli, Rowan is what you know him by, is keeping her held under some secret act that she'll probably never see daylight again."

"So you thought I would hate you because of something your father made me do? Livie, that's on him. It has nothing to do with you and me. I don't like that I had to do it, but that's what it was, I had to do it. It was a direct order."

"There's more." Fitz finished his food and took the plates to the kitchen. Coming back, he got comfortable on the couch behind her as she sat on the floor against the coffee table. "I'm not using you. I don't want you to ever think that I was. I'm not using you for your power, or publicity for my own sake. I would never do that to you Fitz."

Slowly, Fitz moved her hair away from her face and kissed her cheek. "I know that. I heard what you said to Cyrus about what I said at the funeral." He could feel Olivia tense at the words. "I never should have called you that. It was wrong. You were never a mistress; you never will be. Whatever people say, it doesn't matter to us. They're just words. The only thing that matters is what you and I think. And both of us know that you aren't a mistress."

Olivia nodded knowing he was right. Words were just words, they couldn't really hurt. "I know that you're right. It's just a word. Can we stop for a bit? I don't want to talk anymore for now. Right now, I just want to be with you if you'll let me. Can we let one minute be longer? Just for now?"

"One minute can be however long we want it to be." He pulled her up to the couch with him. Fitz enjoyed the feeling of her so close to him. She wrapped her arms around him, laying her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat the same as her own. "Livie, I want you to know that there's nothing you can do that I couldn't forgive. I have a surprise for you too. We'd talked about Vermont so much; I needed it to be a reality. I had a house built for us up there. There are plenty of rooms for our children and the orchard. Even an indoor swimming pool so you can swim all year. There is plenty of room for you to make jam and whatever else you want, sweet baby. I love you, Olivia, more than anything. You have to know that. Remember that for whatever comes next, for whatever you have to tell me."

As he spoke he could feel her tears on his arm. He let her silently cry herself to sleep before picking her up and taking her to her bed. For several hours, he sat in the chair in the bedroom watching her sleep and falling asleep himself.


	7. Final Secret

Olivia made breakfast for her and Fitz in the morning while he slept on the couch. She made him a plate of eggs and bacon just the way he liked. Liv kissed his check slowly waking him up.

"You have to get back to the White House," she told him. "I made you breakfast. Tom brought you a suit and you can shower here."

Fitz looked up at her smiling. "You thought of everything. This looks great, Livie. Thank you."

"Do you think we can talk later today?" Liv asked ringing her hands. "I can come to the White House if you want. Or you can come over here. Edison is going to be a few more days. Or we cannot talk at all. Whatever you want to do is fine with me. No pressure or anything. There's something I have to tell you but I don't know if you'll want to hear it or whatever. If you don't want to talk that's fine. I can figure something else out of a way to tell you."

"Olivia, you're rambling. We can talk later. I can come over here later after my last meeting this afternoon. You can tell me whatever you want then. I'm going to shower."

After an hour Fitz and Olivia left for work.

"You're going to tell him?" Huck questioned when he saw Olivia in deep thought at lunch.

"I have to," she responded. "He has to know."

"It won't kill him if he doesn't though. He's happy with you now, why would you want to ruin that?"

"I have to tell him. He has to know. Telling Fitz will be good. It can show how much we will last."

"Liv, I hope you know what you're doing. I don't mean to get in your business or question your methods but this could end badly for you. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Throughout the day, Liv thought of ways to tell Fitz. She knew he'd be mad, probably pissed but not sure what exactly he would do.

Fitz and the agents showed up at five that afternoon at her apartment. She was waiting for them to arrive.

"Hi," he said when she opened the door.

"Hi." Liv moved out of the way and let him in. "I got the Scotch you like. Two bottles of it."

"This must be big then. You hate when I drink." She handed him a very generous glass of Scotch. "It's big."

"Yeah. I filed for divorce today. So even if you leave after I tell you what I need to, I'm still not going to be with Edison. I've realized that he and I are just too different to be married. It doesn't have everything to do with you."

"Olivia that's great! So what is this big news you need to tell me?"

"I've decided not to avoid the situation and I'm going to tell you straight. Before I left your administration the first time, right after the Inaugural Ball, I… I did something. Well, I found out and decided later. Remember that I did this to protect you please. I did this so that you wouldn't have a scandal in the first year of your presidency. I found out I was pregnant."

Fitz could hear the fear in her voice. How was she pregnant and he didn't know? The idea of her being pregnant instantly upset him; the thought that it was their child pissed him off. "So you had an abortion and didn't bother to even consider what my feelings on the matter would be? That's great, Olivia. You killed our child without even letting me know they existed." He ran a hand through his hair as he got up getting more Scotch.

"Fitz, I was trying to protect you. Now you know what we did to make you President, how could I risk that? Why would I risk you having to explain why and how you got an aid pregnant? I wanted to tell you but I thought better of it. It's the reason that I left. Not only did Mellie know about us but I had to take care of the baby. I did what was right," she said pushing the tears back.

"And the right thing to do was to kill our baby? Kill someone that was a product of both of us? How could you do something like that Olivia? Especially without discussing the options with me."

"Because I knew what you would have done. Fitz, you would have quit being President, resigned immediately, and left Mellie. Believe me; I wanted you to do that. But it was a selfish choice for me to even think about."

He drank the rest of the brown liquid in the glass and set it on the coffee table as he sat down on the couch. "It wouldn't have been selfish. You would have been doing something that would be right for both of us and the baby."

"And break up Karen and Jerry's home. I didn't want to be the home wrecker of the President. I love Karen and Jerry like they were my own. I couldn't do that to them. As evil as Mellie is, she is still their mother. She would have fought you for custody of them just because she's hateful. Mellie would have sent them to some boarding school in another country and would never let you see them. Those kids love you. I didn't want to be the reason they weren't allowed to see you."

"But it wasn't your complete decision."

Olivia sat down in the chair on the other side of the room. Fitz's tone was full of anger. Any minute now, he'd get up and walk out the door never returning. She knew he was upset with her, probably wanting her to finish so he can leave. At least giving her a chance to explain.

"I know it wasn't my complete decision. But I had to. I mean, what would you have done? You can't just show up with a new baby on your wife's hip. I couldn't allow you to come in and take the baby from me. I'm not ready to be a mom and you aren't able to be a proper father to anyone but Karen and Jerry and Teddy. I'm sorry that you feel that I made the wrong decision."

Fitz moved closer to the edge of the couch, starting to get up. "You did make the wrong choice. You never should have left the first time. You should have told me that you were pregnant and we could have worked something out. But you didn't, Olivia. You killed our baby."

He stood up and stepped a foot away from the couch before she spoke. "Why do you assume I had an abortion?"

"Well I don't see a baby anywhere around here," he stated motioning around the apartment as he turned back to face her.

"I could NEVER hurt something you and I created. My God, I still have everything you ever gave me, everything that you ever left in a hotel room with me. My phone still has every voicemail you've ever left me. All the emails you've sent me; I still have everything. Hell, when Edison's not home, I sleep in your old Navy shirt. I have for the past couple years. It doesn't smell like you anymore but it's yours and that's what matters to me. I could never hurt our child."

"Then what did you do!" he demanded to know.

Olivia looked closely into his eyes taking a few steps closer to him. She could see the curiosity and rage in his blue rimmed pupils. "You still haven't figured it out, have you?"

"Explain it, dammit! What did you do? What happened for there not to be a baby around here?"

"Fitz… Ella is ours."


	8. Knowing

"What are you talking about?" Fitz demanded to know. "Ella can't be our daughter."

"Why can't she be?" Olivia questioned him.

"Because… because she is Cyrus and James's daughter. She couldn't have been ours; the time frame doesn't work out."

Olivia held his shoulders and put him on the couch. "When I left the White House I was three months pregnant. I stayed as long as I could at the White House working for you. If I stayed longer, people would begin to question who the father was. I left the note for you and went to hide for a while. When I had to baby I made sure that she was going to be in a safe home with people who would love and take care of her. She deserves what I couldn't give her. She deserves two parents who love her."

"We both would have loved her! She's our daughter! How did James and Cyrus end up with her?"

"I knew how much James wanted a baby. I was pressuring Cyrus to give him a baby. I made it happen so they would adopt Ella."

"How exactly?"

"Huck made up a fake birth certificate for her using no parents' names. I told Cyrus that a client had a baby and was unable to take care of her. He told James and he insisted they take the baby. I knew that she would be safe with them. No one would question them as to where she came from or anything like that." Olivia got off the couch and poured him another glass of Scotch. "I wanted to make sure that I could still see her and that you would know her."

Fitz slowly sipped his Scotch before setting it on the table. "That's why she has your hair and my eyes. I noticed that at her christening. That she looked like you and me. Why wouldn't you tell me that? Tell me why you would do this to us," he said through gritted teeth.

Olivia felt her heart breaking at his tone. He could have hit her and the pain would be nothing compared to now. "I told you; I wanted her to have a good life. You are her godfather. Ella knows you and has from the day she was born."

"No, Olivia, I'm her father. I can only see my daughter when I get a few minutes to have James bring her in. She's my daughter; I should be able to see her every minute of every day. You are denying her the right to know her own family."

"I am not! She knows us. Ella knows that we are her godparents."

"Who all knows that she is your daughter? Who knew that you were pregnant? Did Cyrus know any of this?"

"No, Fitz. No one knows. Huck knows because he is the one who did the birth certificate but that's it. Cyrus and James don't know that she is actually ours or that I was ever pregnant. No one knows that I was pregnant. Not even my team." She saw him get up and move towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"To get my daughter."

Olivia ran and blocked the door not letting him out. "No, you can't do that."

"Move, Olivia, now."

She didn't budge even at the harsh tone he took with her again. "No, Fitz you cannot go over there and disrupt her life. This is the way things have to be."

"Things don't have to be like this at all. You may not have wanted her but I sure as hell do. Move." When she didn't move he stepped closer to the door. "Move or I'll move you myself."

Olivia grasped the door handle behind her tightly ready to struggle if he tried anything. He stared her down for a minute, knowing how tense she was. Fitz made sure to let his eyes soften telling her it was fine. When he saw her arms relax and she pulled her hands to her legs, Fitz grabbed her arm and yanked her back away from the door. Losing her balance, she went right into the corner of the coffee table hitting her forehead on it. Fitz didn't bother looking back. He went out the door slamming it behind him and left in the elevator to the garage.

Liv sat up and rubbed her head noticing the blood coming down her face.

Fitz knocked several times on the front door before Cyrus answered it.

"What are you doing here?" he asked Fitz.

"I…I came to see Ella. I thought I'd give you and James the weekend alone. I'll take Ella with me to the White House for the weekend," Fitz replied.

After a little debate between Cyrus and James, Fitz left with the diaper bag and Ella back to the White House.

Olivia had called Huck to come over and help her so she wouldn't go to the hospital.

"What happened to you?" he asked her when she opened the door to him with a bloody cloth to her forehead.

"Just stitch it please. No questions."

"I told you it wouldn't go well. Did he do this to you?"

"Huck, no questions. I just tripped. No big deal."

After Huck got her forehead stitched up with seven stitches, she decided to go to bed. There was no possible way that she was going to be able to stop Fitz from seeing Ella when he was determined to.

Fitz went into Teddy's bedroom and kissed him goodnight before taking Ella to his bedroom and going to bed. His three year old daughter was already passed out in his arms when they got in the room. Fitz laid her on the bed and put his pajamas on before lying next to her. He looked at her hard, studying every feature that she had. Her curly brown hair was exactly like Olivia's. Ella's nose and lips were hers too. But she had his eyes and that amazing Grant smile. She was the perfect mixture of both of them. He fell asleep saddened by the time that he had missed with her.


	9. Telling

Fitz sat at the table with Ella and Teddy feeding them breakfast. He was starting to plan the day with them. Play in the Rose Garden, watch a movie with lunch, take a nap, then play some more.

"Morning Fitz, what's Ella doing here?" Mellie questioned when she walked in. She was still staying in the Residence while their divorce was being finalized.

"Hey Mellie, I just picked up Ella last night, I thought I'd spend some time with her. It's been so long since I've seen her," Fitz replied.

Mellie nodded and left the room letting him have time alone with them.

Later in the afternoon the next day Olivia went to the White House. She went in to the Oval seeing Fitz with the kids on the floor. She thought she gave him enough time to cool down. Maybe after spending some time with Ella, he would realize that she was just doing it to protect him.

"Hey," she announced her presence. Ella came over to her and hugging her leg. Liv bent down to her level, "did you have fun with Fitz?" Ella nodded and showed her the blocks she was playing with. Fitz kept his eyes on Ella as she played. He didn't know what Olivia was doing there but thought that there might be a chance she would take Ella and leave again.

"Ella, come over here," Fitz said softly. She went over and sat next to him building a castle with him.

Teddy's nanny came in to get him and Ella for a nap a few minutes later. He sat at his desk when the door closed and shuffled through papers ignoring Olivia's presence in front of him.

"It seemed that you were having fun with the two of them," she said sweetly. "I hope she wasn't trouble for you."

"She's my daughter, Olivia, she wouldn't ever be trouble," Fitz said not looking at her.

"You're right. Ella is never any trouble. She's the best little girl ever."

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted to talk to you. You know I didn't give Ella to Cyrus and James to deprive you of our daughter, right? I would never do that to you."

"I'm not sure what to believe Olivia. Obviously, I am deprived of my daughter. She doesn't live with me; I don't get to see her whenever I want. I don't get to see the milestones of her life."

"Fitz, you have seen every milestone of her life. You were there when she said her first word, when she started walking. You were the person she walked to. You've been there all along."

"But not the way I should have been, the way I should be. I should have been there to put her in bed every night, and wake up with her every morning. You should have told me is what it all comes down to."

Olivia knew he was right. During the past two days, she had thought a lot about what she had done. After thinking about it, she realized that she should have told Fitz. He had a right to know that she was pregnant.

Fitz still hadn't looked up to see her. Liv knew that she should leave soon; he obviously was still upset, with good reason. She grabbed her bag and went toward the door.

"I've realized that I should have told you that I was pregnant. I should have told you about Ella. I thought I was protecting you and your presidency. Ella should have been ours and raised by us. I thought it was a good fit for her and for you. You would still be able to see her and know her. But I was wrong. I'm really sorry, Fitz. You and I created a child; it should have been yours and my decision. I'm sorry I took your right away. I'll understand if you want to tell Cyrus and James that she's your daughter. I'll be there if you want to tell them. Whatever you want to do, Fitz, I'll agree with you. Just know that this wasn't to hurt you, it was to protect you. Obviously, it did the opposite. Please though, don't blame Cyrus or James for this. It was my fault and I'm the only person to blame. No matter what happens between you and me now, know that I am divorcing Edison. He's signed the divorce papers already, we'll be divorced at the end of the month. Even if you don't want me anymore, I'm still yours. I'll always be yours."

Olivia left the Oval and went back to her apartment.


	10. Cyrus Knows

"Why wouldn't you tell me that you're Ella's mother?" Cyrus came into her bedroom unannounced the next morning. "Or tell me that you were pregnant?"

Olivia woke up at the loud sound of his voice. Looking at the clock she saw it was eight in the morning, she'd only been asleep for two hours. Cyrus looked upset, not angry but a bit confused.

"Our job was to protect his presidency; I thought that was what I was doing. I thought I was doing the right thing. We made him President, why would I ruin that? Especially in the first year?"

"Liv, we could have worked that out. We could have been able to make an arrangement that you were actually her mom and Fitz was her dad but James and I raise her." As he said the words out loud, Cyrus realized that's the way it had been. "You did that. You made the situation the way it is so you could be her mom and he be her dad but keep James happy and by that, me happy." Olivia nodded her response grateful that he understood. "Thank you, Liv. Ella is great. She's the best child ever."

Cyrus left the bedroom, heading to the kitchen to make coffee.

"Fitz told you then," Liv stated when she walked in the kitchen.

"Yes, he told me and James this morning. I think you did the right thing. Eventually, Fitz will see that. He's going to realize what you did was good for both you and him and for Ella." Cyrus turned around to get another cup of coffee and caught sight of her stitches. "What the hell did he do to you?"

Olivia raised her hand to hide her stitches. "It's nothing; it was an accident."

"An accident that needed stitches! Does he know he did that?"

"No, Cy, I'm fine. Fitz didn't mean to. It was a complete accident."

"I'm going to kick his ass! He cut your head open!"

"Cyrus, I fell into the coffee table. I tripped; it's not a big deal. I'm glad that you and James know the truth now. It's been hard to keep it from everyone. I don't want things to change for Ella. She's had a wonderful life so far with you and James. She has a routine and I don't want to break that for her. But if Fitz wants custody of her, he will get it. I'll be the bad guy, who I am, but it will be public. If he wants her, he will keep her. There's nothing I can do about that. I just hope that he realizes the effect it will have on her. For being three, Ella is very smart and observant. She could sense the tension and the friction that he had with me yesterday. Ella shouldn't be punished because of my mistake. I want her to know Fitz and I want to know her too but I know that he won't let me if he gets custody of her."

Cyrus moved to the table with her. "You are getting way ahead of yourself. You don't know that Fitz will take Ella or anything after that."

"Ella is his daughter. He loves his kids more than anything. Fitz will fight to the death to get custody of her. And I don't blame him; I'd do the same thing. I made a big mistake not telling him but I didn't deprive him of knowing her."

"You did what you thought was right. No one should blame you for that. I certainly don't, neither does James. And when Ella is older, she will understand. Right now, all Fitz is hearing is that you and he have a child that he didn't know about. He's not thinking about what was in her best interest. When he's calmed down, he'll realize that you did the right thing."

The two of them sat at the table in the dining room for a couple hours before he headed to back to the White House.

"Ella has a doctor's appointment in an hour that I have to take her to," Cyrus told Fitz as he closed the door to the Oval.

"I'll take her," Fitz responded.

"That's going to be a bit uncomfortable for the doctor. Fitz, you have to realize that even though Ella is your biological daughter, no one knows it. You should know that Olivia never did this to hurt you. She thought it was best for Ella. Why would she want to hurt your presidency? You've seen Ella nearly every day of her life. Ella knows you as much as she knows me and James. We all were deprived of the information as to who her real parents were. But Olivia did what was best for her. Now, I'm going to take Ella to her doctor then drop her off with the nanny at home." Before Fitz could protest, he left the room.

As Fitz started to calm down, he came to the realization that Olivia would never intentionally do something to hurt him. It just happened that he was hurt by the situation. Liv would rather beat herself to death than hurt him. And he was the same way. Neither of them would intentionally hurt the other but this time, both would hurt. But he had to take care of his daughter now. But then Fitz realized that Ella may have been his biological daughter, but she was his goddaughter. Her life was good; she was very taken care of and would never want for anything ever. With Fitz and Olivia as her godparents, she had been the most spoiled baby ever, and would continue to be for a very long time. Fitz contemplated what to do next. He should talk to Olivia and explain why he was angry but he was still angry with her.


	11. Taking Ella

A month had gone by and Fitz was still angry with Olivia. She didn't blame him; he had every right to be angry. He hadn't let her in the White House since the last time. Since Ella was a few months old, Olivia would take her for the weekend so James and Cyrus could have alone time. But since Fitz found out about Ella being his, he was taking her instead. Fitz was keeping Ella as long as he could through the week and on the weekends. Olivia had tried to get Cyrus to talk to him about letting her take Ella even for a few hours but he refused. Fitz had never seen the stitches from her injury. After Huck took out the stitches from her forehead, there was a scar.

At the end of the month, both divorces were final. Edison had admitted to Olivia that he had cheated on her and was in love with another woman in Georgia, so he didn't fight the divorce. Mellie had taken all three of her children back to California to live. Her divorce from Fitz was a public as could be, but they were friendly about it. He was allowed to see his children any time he wanted. And now that he knew about Ella, he was going to do the same with her.

Olivia was watching the news in the afternoon when the doorbell rang.

Cyrus stood on the other side holding Ella with diaper bag in hand. "I need you to watch her for a few hours. James and I need to go visit his dad in the hospital and it's a long car ride for her."

"Okay," she took Ella from him and closed the door as he got on the elevator.

Together they sat on the floor playing with Ella's doll and playing dress up. Liv made her a snack and sat at the table while she ate, and the doorbell rang again.

Slowly, she went to answer it, knowing it was him.

"Ms. Pope, the President sent me to get Ella," Tom informed her.

"I've barely had her an hour. Tom please, just for a few more hours. I've haven't seen her in a month," Liv begged.

Tom was compassionate towards her but he had to take Ella to the White House. "I'm sorry ma'am. I have to."

Olivia nodded and went to the table as Ella finished her snack while Tom picked up her toys. She got down to her level and spoke to her. "You're going to go see Fitz, okay? We can play another time." Liv was getting teary but knew she couldn't actually cry in front of Ella. If she did, she would think that something was wrong; even though it was.

"I stay, we can play dolls. Please Livia?"

"I bet Fitz will play with your dolls with you." Liv wiped away the tears and hugged Ella.

"We play later," Ella told her.

Tom picked her up and went to the car. As instructed, he took her straight to the Oval for time with Fitz before his last meeting.

When Tom put her on the floor, Ella sat down at his feet and babbled at her doll. Normally, Ella would run towards Fitz and tell him things that he didn't quite understand but he pretended he did.

Taken back, Fitz looked at Tom for a clue.

"She didn't want to leave Ms. Pope. She begged her to stay," Tom informed him.

Fitz was a bit sad that Ella didn't want to come spend time with him. But then he remembered that she hadn't seen Olivia in a month, and to a three year old, it was a lifetime. He let Tom leave and got on the floor with Ella.

"We'll see Olivia later," Fitz told her as he kissed her cheek.

After his meeting was over, Cyrus and James were already back. When Fitz went in the Oval with Ella, he saw Cyrus going through the agenda for the next day.

"What's Ella doing here? I left her with Liv," Cyrus questioned.

"I don't trust Olivia with her. God knows what she'd do to her. So I had Tom bring Ella here," Fitz replied.

Cyrus picked Ella up and placed her on his knee. "Can play with Livia?" Ella asked.

"So you took her away from Olivia because she what? She might spend time with her?"

"Olivia gave her away once, who knows what she'd do now," Fitz spat.

"Don't you think that's a bit hostile? You've had Ella to yourself all month. She asked where Olivia was last night, so I thought I could leave her with Liv. Nothing bad would ever happen to Ella while she's with her. Just like with you. Fitz, you have to get a grip on reality. Ella is Olivia's as much as she is yours. And since she is mine and James', you cannot go around and have someone pick her up just because she is with someone you don't like. You and Olivia need to have it out. Go talk to her, yell at her if needed but get a handle on it. We want Ella to grow up with both you and Olivia around. And not just around on holidays and her birthday, but all the time. Liv knows that what she did was wrong. She's told you that, and she's apologized for that too. It's killing her that she hasn't seen Ella in a month."

"You don't think it's killed me to know that I haven't been able to see my daughter every day of her life? Or even know that she exists? Exists as my daughter? Olivia's had it easy this month."

"Fitz, what would you do if Mellie said you couldn't see Teddy anymore? Or that you couldn't be part of his life anymore?"

"I'd be very angry and probably depressed. But I'd give it my all to fight her."

"That's what Olivia's going through now. Didn't you find it funny that Olivia was home in the middle of the day? And was able to watch Ella? Liv hasn't been to work in weeks. I got there this afternoon and she was still in her pajamas and she looked like she hadn't brushed her hair in several days. Olivia's not fighting because she thinks this is what she deserves. She took away something that belonged to you and now she's dealing with the consequences. The last time she left her apartment was the day she came here. She didn't even go to the doctor to get her stitches taken out, she had Huck come over and do it. Her team is worried about her and so am I. And if you give a damn, you would be too."

Fitz heard every word Cyrus said. "Stitches? What about stitches?"

"Oh, she fell into the coffee table and cut her forehead open. Looked pretty bad too. Huck put in seven stitches and took them out a week later."

Immediately, Fitz felt guilty. "She didn't fall into the coffee table, I threw her into it."

"I know."

"She told you?"

"She didn't have to. She stuttered and looked away when I asked about the stitches."

Cyrus took Ella home after their conversation, leaving Fitz to feel extremely guilty for the damage he had done. He realized he was wrong to deny Olivia seeing Ella the past month. And the more he thought about it, the more he understood that Olivia giving James and Cyrus a baby that was really theirs, was for the better. He had never actually missed a day of her life or any celebration or milestone that she had. His guilt was overwhelming to him as he started to drink the Scotch at his desk. Cyrus was right. What could Olivia do to ever hurt Ella? Absolutely nothing. She would never harm Ella or Fitz. Fitz knew that now was when he had to talk to Olivia. He sat the glass down half full and called Tom to bring the limo around.


	12. Thanks

Fitz had arrived at Olivia's apartment just before ten that night. He knocked a couple times but she never answered. He used the spare key she kept on top of the ledge. Tom went in to secure the apartment, as usual, before Fitz went in.

"She's asleep," Tom told him.

Fitz went into the bedroom and found Liv on the bed, she was tossing and turning in her sleep and looked uncomfortable. As he walked towards her he could tell that she hadn't showered recently. Quietly, he went into the bathroom and started a bath for her. Once the temperature was right and the tub was full, Fitz went to get Olivia. Pushing the covers off her, he kissed the scar that he had left.

"I'm sorry, Livie," he said quietly.

When she heard his voice, she woke up a little. "What's happening?" Liv asked still half asleep.

Fitz worked to get her undressed and carried her to the bath. He set her down in the hot water letting her get comfortable while he got her shampoo and conditioner. Fitz knelt down beside her washing her hair and giving every part of her body the attention it needed. None of it was meant to be sexual to her; he just wanted to take care of her when it seemed that she wasn't doing it for herself.

When he finished with her bath he helped her out of the tub and dried off. Fitz found the old Navy shirt that she would wear a lot and put it on her with a pair of shorts. He carried her to bed, noticing the two bottles of pills on the night stand, he set her down and fell asleep behind her.

Olivia had been tossing and turning in her sleep the whole month. What little rest she did get was on the couch but it was only for an hour or two. She'd been taking sleeping pills to help but they never did. Tonight, she barely moved. When Fitz lay down next to her, she moved into him hoping he wouldn't push her away.

As the sun rose, so did Fitz. He moved away from her quietly and went to make her breakfast.

After a half hour, he came back with a tray and kissed her awake.

"I wasn't dreaming you spent the night," Olivia questioned. He shook his head no and set the tray down in front of her. "Thank you." Fitz ran a finger over her scar gently. "Don't."

"Livie, I'm sorry about that. I never meant for you to get hurt."

"It was an accident. It's alright."

"No, it's not. You should hate me for that. You should have called the police and gone to the hospital. I honestly can't believe I did that to you. I'm so sorry, sweet baby."

Olivia put her fork down from her eggs, not really wanting to eat anyway. "Do you really want people to know that you were arrested for injuring anyone? Let alone your mistress? Unless it was a real necessity for me to go to the hospital I would never risk putting you in jail or being impeached. I know you don't understand that everything I do is to protect you but, God, I wouldn't do that to you."

Fitz moved the tray onto the floor and sat on the bed with his knees on either side of her. "You are NOT a mistress. I know that you do everything to protect me, but there are some things that you shouldn't and cannot protect me from. I love you, and I should have been a lot more careful with you that day. I was just pissed but that's no excuse for physically hurting you."

"I understand that; I knew you would be upset; it's my fault and I deserved it. I completely deserved being hurt in any way that you could make it happen."

"No you don't. I never should have thought about touching you that way. None of that is on you, it's on me. Now you have a scar to prove what an ass I am."

"I can cover it, it's not that big. Why'd you come over?"

Fitz sat back next to her keeping his eyes on her. "Cyrus told me what I did. He knew that it was my fault even after you said it wasn't. He also said you haven't been to work in weeks and were getting to the point of depression. I came to see how you were and to tell you that I'm not mad anymore. I understand the reasons that you gave Ella to James and Cyrus. And I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me? For what?"

"For giving our daughter a better chance. For giving me her. I have a piece of our love that no one can ever take away. Ella is the greatest thing you could have given me. She's amazing. The last month that I have spent with her, it feels right."

Olivia locked eyes with her blanket as she spoke. "Are you going to take custody of her?"

"The past month has felt right, but it feels more wrong than anything. Ella is my daughter but she isn't mine." Fitz could see the confusion on Olivia's face and went on. "Ella may be biologically mine, but she isn't mine to raise. She belongs with James and Cyrus. You and I, we're her godparents. We shouldn't be her real parents. As much as I would love to keep Ella to myself forever, she just isn't mine. I won't put her through a switch of living. Even though she is too young to understand, she can sense the tension around her. Ella could tell that Cyrus was upset that I took her away from you yesterday, and that you were sad because Tom took her. I don't want to put her through that, and I won't put James and Cyrus in that position either. I do want to see her as much as possible but I won't change her life to make that happen. I've had the chance to come to terms and realize what you did and why you did it. Thank you Livie. I've realized that you wouldn't keep our daughter from me but that you were giving her a chance. With us as her parents and the positions we hold, she'd be in the public eye for the rest of her life. Now, Ella has a better chance at having a normal life and a normal childhood like she deserves."

"I would never keep you from her, Fitz. I'm glad you understand that. But I can tell that you're still upset with me about something."

"You should have told me you were pregnant. We could have come to a conclusion as to what was best for her together. We should have done all of that together."

"You are the President. I couldn't just tell you I was pregnant. If I did, you would have done everything to be with me for it. And I wanted you to, believe me I did. But things don't turn out to be the way we want them to be."

"I know; I'm over being mad and everything in this situation. Ella is in a good home, we are her godparents and we can see her any time we want. Now, eat your breakfast please." As Olivia started to eat, Fitz sat next to her trying to come up with a way to get her to go to work and come out of her depression. He knew Liv would say that she was fine but he knew the truth. "So, hmm, what do you have planned for the day?"

Immediately, Olivia knew where this was heading. "You have to go to the White House and do work. You can't stay here."

"Fine, Tom and I can drop you off at your office on the way."

"I'm not going to work."

Fitz nodded his head at her taking the tray away. "You are going to work because people count on you. You have too many people who count on you. This whole city turns to you. You have to go to work."

"Have you ever wondered why everyone comes to me with the issues?"

"No, I already know why. Because you are the best, and when you need the best you go to Olivia Pope. And you, my wonderful Livie, are the one and only Olivia Pope. Get dressed and we'll take you to your office."

"Liv, you have Ella back. I know she's your whole reason for getting out of bed every morning so come on." Olivia sunk deeper under her blanket and lay back on the bed to her side. When he noted that she was not going to move, he lay on the bed next to her facing her. "Why don't you want to go to work? Usually I can never get you out of the office."

"I just don't feel like going okay? I haven't slept well in weeks and I just don't want to go."

"Want to go to work with me?"

"No. That would only ensure that you get nothing done today. And Cyrus would be mad."

"Okay, I'll come back tonight and sleep here with you. Then you can get a great night of sleep. I'm sure we could both use it."

After Fitz left, Olivia took a sleeping pill along with two pain pills and fell asleep.


	13. Mental Breakdown

Fitz finished his meetings for the day and left to Olivia's apartment. The door was locked when he arrived so he used the key to get in. It was only seven when he walked in.

"Liv?" he called out for her. Her apartment looked untouched. Almost as if she hadn't even been up yet. No wine glass sat out like it normally did no bottle in sight. Fitz called out for her again but there was no response. He looked around and found her in the bedroom laying in almost the same position he left her in that morning. "Livie, let's get up."

Olivia rolled to her side facing the door. "If I wanted to get up, don't you think I would have gotten up?" she snapped at him.

Fitz went over to the bed and laid down facing her. "Have you gotten out of bed today?" She shook her head no. "Olivia, you need to get out of bed. If you don't want to go to work that's fine, but you do have to get out of bed."

"Actually, I don't. That's one of the great things about this country is I don't HAVE to do anything," she bit out.

He wasn't sure what was going on with her but whatever it was, he was getting the brunt of it. "Did I do something?"

"Yeah, actually you did."

"Tell me and I'll make it better; I'll fix whatever needs to be fixed."

"You can't fix the past five years. Dammit Fitz, I just want to sleep!" Liv rolled over to the nightstand and took another sleeping pill. No matter how hard she had tried during the day, she couldn't fall asleep. Along with the sleeping pill, she took two more pain killers.

Fitz dug himself under the blanket and pulled her close to him. "Okay, sweet baby, sleep. Everything will be fine."

For another week, it was the same routine. Fitz would spend the night with Liv, go to the White House for the day, come back to Liv's, try to get her out of bed, and then fall asleep with her. The only time Olivia got out of bed was if she needed the bathroom or Fitz pulled her out of it to make her take a shower. Every few hours, Olivia would take a sleeping pill with two pain killers and lay back down.

"Cyrus, I don't know what to do. She won't move, she won't speak or eat. She barely gets out of bed. She doesn't do anything," Fitz told him. "I'm getting concerned."

"And she's been like this for a month. You going over there last week, it should have helped her. I thought that's what the problem was, that she just needed you. I don't know how to help her."

"She's been taking some pills, I think they're supposed to help her sleep but she doesn't. Then the pain killers but she doesn't seem to be in pain. How do I help her? Do I call a doctor for her? I know she wouldn't want her team to see her like this, maybe Huck would know how to help her though."

"That's a good idea," Cyrus jumped, "call Huck. He'll know how to get to her. Other than you and me, he knows her best. I'll swing by OPA and talk to him."

After lunch, Huck went over to Olivia's using his key to get in. Without announcing himself he laid down on the bed with her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm just tired. I want to sleep. Can you make me sleep?" Liv asked him.

"No, I can't. You've gone through three bottles of sleeping pills in a month. Try not taking them. Give them here." Without hesitation, Liv handed Huck the bottle. "And the pain killers."

"No. I need those."

"Olivia, you just think you need them. You are not in any pain." Reluctantly, Olivia handed him the other bottle, reminding herself that it was a crutch she didn't need. "I put some of the relaxation music on your phone. Listen to that, it should help."

Huck hit play on her phone on the dock next to her and got up. Before he left the apartment, he took every bottle of pills she had and all the liquor she had out with him.

"The two of you aren't observant," Huck stated when Tom let him in the Oval.

"What do you mean?" Cyrus asked.

Huck pulled out the pill bottles from his pocket putting them on the desk. "She's been taking sleeping pills for the past month. She is in constant mental and emotional pain. Liv's been relying on the pain killers hoping that will make the pain in her head go away. Olivia's having a mental breakdown."

"Liv's not having a breakdown," Fitz confirmed. "I would know if she was. She is NOT having one."

"You are thinking of Olivia as Olivia Pope, you forget though. Even though she is Olivia Pope, she is still human. She still feels pain and suffers like every other human being. The stress of her life has finally caught up with her and she can't take it alone. On top of you knowing about Ella and you not letting Ella to see her, she's actually starting to drown. The only thing we can do is to help her not reach the bottom. She will come out of this eventually but it's up to her when. We can't force her out of it. It's something that she has to do by herself. If she wants to come back to her life like it was, then she will. Right now, we just have to be supportive of her and let her be. Give her space if that's what she wants. Liv seemed fine when I left, she should actually be asleep. If you want to go over there Mr. President, just don't force yourself on her," Huck explained.

"You sound like a therapist."

"Not a therapist, just a friend."


	14. Crazy Things

"Handle it," Cyrus screamed through the phone to Huck. "I have to tell him. You have had over an hour now I have to tell him. Handle this!"

Cyrus slammed the phone down to its holder, pissed and scared. Now he had to tell Fitz and that was the less scary part. He would be pissed and afraid for Liv but he needed his help. On top of everything going on in the day, Fitz did not need to be worried about Olivia any more than he already is.

Fitz was in the Oval with several of the chiefs going over the daily briefing when Cyrus scrambled in. "Mr. President, we have a situation. Everyone out!"

The chiefs looked at Fitz for confirmation to leave and he nodded. "What's the situation?"

"Olivia's gone."

"What the hell do you mean she's gone? She hasn't been out of bed in two months. Where is she?" Fitz yelled.

"Huck is trying to find her now. He says it looks like she just got out of bed and went out. She's not at OPA and Rowan hasn't seen her either. We aren't sure; she's apparently been gone for a few hours. Abby, Harrison, and Quinn are all helping to find her but so far no luck. They've been looking at the usual places she would go but they haven't found anything."

"Olivia isn't mentally stable right now, how about looking for her in places that she wouldn't be? I'll add some men to help; I want her found safe and sound now."

"Tom has been informed of this and sent some agents to help them but they still haven't…"

Tom opened the Oval door, "We've found her."

"Take her back to her apartment, I'll meet them there."

"I'm sorry, Sir, she isn't with the agents. They just know where she is. You are not going to like this, Mr. President."

Tom turned on the TV to the breaking news.

_"Former White House Communications Director Olivia Pope is one of the hostages the bomber is holding in the Capitol. So far, no demands have been made. We will be watching through this until the end." _The announcer reported.

"HAS SHE LOST HER DAMN MIND?" Fitz yelled. "Get the chiefs into the situation room. I want a direct line to whoever is out there running the show. Get her on the phone. I want this handled. Find me a solution to get her out of there alive."

Everyone started to scramble around to get this done. Fitz started to pace in circles attempting to come up with a way to get her out and with him. He wanted to go down there and pull her out himself but he knew there was no chance in hell of that happening.

"We're going to get Liv out of there, Fitz," Cyrus told him gently.

"I should have had an agent at her apartment with her all the time. She isn't in her right mind to be doing this. We have to get her out of there, alive."

"We will. She is not going to die in there. I promise you that. Olivia will come home in a few hours and everything will be fine."

Fitz and Cyrus went to the situation room and listened to their suggestions. As the chiefs talked, the FBI was calling in to him.

"Mr. President, this is Commander Boles. The bomber is Mary Nesbitt, she wants information as to how her son died last year. I've spoken to Olivia Pope," he said before he was interrupted.

"You spoke with Olivia, how is she? Is she alright?" Fitz demanded to know.

"Ms. Pope says that Mary has a homemade bomb strapped to her chest and is possible that it could go off any minute if Mary doesn't get the information she wants. She seems to know what she is doing. One second," Commander Boles told him. "She's releasing some of the hostages." Fitz watched it happen on the TV in the situation room praying that Liv was coming out of there now. "Mary still has the Congressman and Ms. Pope. I'm sending in some FBI agents."

"Good work, Commander. Keep me informed," Fitz said and hung up.

Cyrus and Fitz sat in the Situation room with the other chiefs and waited, watching the news.

Ten minutes had gone by until the Commander called again. "Sir, an agent has a straight shot to Mary, do you want him to take it?"

"If the shot is… WAIT!" Just as Fitz was about to give the call to shoot, Olivia jumped in front of her. "DO NOT SHOOT! Commander, wait until I call you again. Cyrus, my office." Fitz ran down to his office leaving Cyrus a few feet behind him. "What the hell is she thinking?" Cyrus picked up the phone telling the secretary to put him through to the Congressman's number.

"Hello?" Cyrus heard Olivia's soft voice. She seemed very calm with everything going on around her.

"ARE YOU FUCKING MAD? ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED?" Cyrus yelled at her.

"No and no," she replied shyly.

"You seem very likely to get yourself killed!" he screamed.

Fitz grabbed the phone from him and covered the mouth piece so she wouldn't hear him. "She's not really Liv right now, remember? You can't yell at her like that." He put the phone to his ear and spoke calmly to her. "Olivia?"

"Oh, hey Fitz."

"Hey, why are you standing in front of a window that the FBI is trying to shoot at?"

"If they shoot her, we all get blown up. I'm prepared to die, but I'd like to it on my terms. By the way, I want my sleeping pills back."

"After what you just said, the answer is no. You aren't going to take sleeping pills to kill yourself. You need to get away from the window and get somewhere safe."

"If it was possible for me to leave, I'd have done it already. Being a hostage isn't really an option. I'm better now; I'm actually out of bed, out of my apartment. If that means that today is the day that I'm supposed to die, so be it."

"Olivia Carolyn Pope, you will not die. I won't allow it. Now step away from the window." Cyrus walked into the Oval and handed Fitz a note. He read the note and nodded telling them to do it. "So you decided to go to the Capitol and help Mary."

"Yes, she needed my help."

As Olivia talked on with Fitz, the FBI came in and shot Mary. They took Olivia to the car and drove her to the White House. As the agent pulled to the back, Fitz stood at the door waiting for her.

She hadn't gotten out of the car yet, but she could see the anger in Fitz's eyes. He went to the car with a determined look and pulled her out to him.

"How am I supposed to protect you when you go off and do stupid shit like this?" he asked as he kissed her hair.

Olivia hugged him and pulled back. "Simple, you aren't. Mary was a client that needed my help. So I did help her. She died knowing the truth about her son, or what she is legally allowed to know about his death."

"You are one very difficult woman and I can't wait to marry you."


	15. 10 Years Later

"Livie, when are you coming home?" Fitz yelled through the phone. Their four children had been running around the Vermont house all day without listening to anything he said.

"Tomorrow, I have to finish this client's meeting tomorrow then I'm on my way home. What's going on? It sounds like a circus there," Liv laughed.

"Your children have been replaced by demons."

"My children? You're the one who wanted four of them. I told you to stop after two. But you know everything."

"Fine, OUR children are demons today."

"Alright, put Riley on the phone."

Fitz handed the phone to their oldest daughter. "Hi mommy," she said smiling. "One sec, I can't hear you." Riley held the phone away from her mouth and turned to her siblings. "SHUT UP!" Riley held the phone up to her ear again and talked with her mother. "Okay… it's not me… fine… NO, please no mommy!... okay, I'll tell them too. See you tomorrow."

Riley handed the phone back to Fitz scrambling to her siblings to make them quiet.

"What did you tell her?" Fitz asked as the room was suddenly quiet.

"If they weren't good I'd send them to all year school and make sure that Huck was there to pick them up every day from class."

"Touché. The pilot said that you should be here around seven tomorrow night. Then you and I can have time alone together," Fitz smirked.

"I can tell what you're up to. You're just lucky I can't get pregnant anymore."

"Lucky me. I should get the kids some lunch. I love you, sweet baby."

"I love you too, Fitz."


End file.
